T-Wolves fight galactic change

For all the poets marching in the Left’s ranks, what a letdown the stodgy slogan “global warming” turned out to be. “Climate change” has proved a more durable (yet perhaps less meaningful) replacement. “Warming” had become too confining: How to explain weeks like last week, when Sulfur Springs, Montana (-30º F), Denver, CO (-18º F), and St. Cloud, MN (-24º F) suffered record temperatures? And to call it “global” proved too provincial: “We are,” says Al Gore, “altering the balance of energy between our planet and the rest of the universe.”

“Inter-galactic planetary climate change” is more like it. So perhaps the disgust of the Beastie Boy rapper formerly known as Adrock upon seeing a crazed fan crowd-surfing with “fight for your right to party” vigor at a concert last year shouldn’t surprise us. “Uh, maybe you didn't get the memo,” said Adam Horowitz. “This is, like, a different type of show we're trying.”

The Beastie Boys have replaced the disc-scratching of yore, for instance, with instrumentals. But that’s really just the sideshow. More importantly, they’ve replaced the girls dancing in cages with Sierra Club booths. And when the refined bards aren’t performing abroad for the Live Earth climate crisis show, they drive a bio-diesel bus to their shows. If being green can make three 40-year old punk rappers cool again, perhaps the eco-show is just for show.

The Target Center is trying a “different type of show,” too. The Minneapolis City Council is expected to approve a $5.3 million “green roof” for the NBA’s seventh oldest arena. The prairie plants growing on the roof will reduce the temperature, becoming a cost-effective energy solution in 2029.

The Timberwolves may not even exist in 2029. But consider it this way: Burger King doesn’t directly profit when it sells whoppers to servicemen at a discount. It indirectly profits from a justly earned reputation for patriotism. Environmentalists, on the other hand, have spewed so much moral self-righteousness out of their enviro-jihad that it’s now profitable to look green, whether you’re a rapper or a roofing consultant.

It’s a shame consumer preferences have shifted to the point that in a recession, it’s profitable to waste money on rooftop shrubbery rather than on innovations that will raise our standard of living. But it’s even worse when politicians’ preferences are the problem: Who can expect Detroit to be profitable when politicians put its moneymaker – SUVs – out of business with emissions standards? Who can miss the irony of Obama endorsing Bush’s auto bailout days after he appointed Steven “we need to get gas prices up to European levels” Chu as energy secretary?

March on ye enviro-jihadists. For if we need one type of change on Wall Street, in Detroit, and in the galaxy, it must be “climate change.”